Woman dies after using jackhammer as a dildo!

[cantkeepmedown]

ARNDALE, OK – Sheriff’s investigators have closed the unsettling case of a 49-year-old female construction worker found dead in her driveway after a neighbor witnessed her using a high-powered jackhammer to pleasure herself.

After a two-day investigation in which officials initially suspected foul play–Shirley Dent’s death on May 1 has now been ruled an accident “after severe internal distress induced by the machine was discovered,” Det.-Sgt. Karl Sprout of the Alpara County Sheriff’s Office said yesterday.

On May 1, a neighbor witnessed a naked Ms. Dent in her driveway “struggling to direct a jackhammer toward her mid-section.” The alarmed neighbor notified police after hearing ear-splitting moans of distress that carried over the raucous jackhammer. Authorities arrived at the scene to an unresponsive Ms. Dent, who was then transported to West Grenier Hospital where she was pronounced dead shortly thereafter.

The recently divorced Ms. Dent had been questioned by authorities three times over the past month after neighbors complained of her running a prostitution ring from her home. Records also show that Ms. Dent supplemented her income as the sole proprietor of a sex toy distributor.

Ms. Dent’s alleged extracurricular activities appear to be unrelated to her death. A neighbor who declined to be identified said, “She was a horny lady, especially after her husband moved out. My family could hear moans coming from her place all the time.”

I found this hard to believe at first. Then I Googled "woman jackhammer dildo" and found dozens of articles from various sites about this. This story is too hard to swallow. Pardon any puns.

[SaviorZeroX]

That's.... disturbing.

[Kev]

wow

[BurningAries]

im just shocked she died...scud and sway have been doin it to their bootys for years and they're both ok

[ScudNutz]

hahahahahha i wonder if she is gonna win a Darwin Award this year hahaha


geez aries you talk so much about peoples asses you probably turn the bar stool upside down yourself

[TickleMyPickle]

Bet Mrs. Dent has a nice big dent in her groin area now!

[kinetic]

HAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHA I CAN'T STOP LAUGHING ROFL

[abcd]

my bad guys ive been sometimes called "jackhammer" cause i pound it soooooooo um yea My b

[DevilDog]

Originally Posted by cantkeepmedown

I found this hard to believe at first. Then I Googled "woman jackhammer dildo" and found dozens of articles from various sites about this. This story is too hard to swallow. Pardon any puns.

haha you know what they say curiosity killed the cat
or in this case the horny lady

[radimage]

Hey I was the one holding the Stop/Slow sign.

It all happened SO fast.

Honestly...imagine your the boyfriend, trying to satisfy her. All the while she's dreaming of construction equipment.

[Tanakachi]

Some people just get bored of the standard sex toys it seems >_<

[Sway]

Originally Posted by BurningAries

im just shocked she died...scud and sway have been doin it to their bootys for years and they're both ok

Who do you think gave her idea?
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